Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Returning

I really don't know how truthful that title is, but I realized I rather neglected this blog. Mostly because I have little time to write, or rather I don't take the time I have and devote it to writing. I miss it though, like I miss a lot of things about growing up.

Since I took some time to go back and look at some of my post I realized a great deal hasn't changed. In fact, it's been refined as far as my ideas and character are concerned. However the world seems to be becoming more feckless, more brazen, and more hopeless. This is in my face almost every day if not every day.

And I feel completely innocuous.

There are some days when I have no idea what I'm doing here. Yet that seems like everyday. And I don't mean moment to moment, I mean ultimately, what in the world did God put me here to do? I don't think I'm doing anything important other than wasting my parents money getting an education that might not be useful for anything in the future. I have had successes. I'm an honors student. But, will it all really matter?

I keep telling myself I'm only visiting, Heaven is my home, and that's true, but sometimes that's so hard to believe when you've never gotten to see Jesus with skin on him. It's like knowing the air you breathe is there, but you want to see it's cycles, you want to see it's form. The water or the leaves might mimic it as they flow and fly around, but you're still not seeing it. You want to so badly, but you can't because of its nature and yours.

I'm so tired of being blind, I want to see the wind.